T w o    L e g s  T o    W a l k

 T w o  E y e s  T o  S e e

T w o   E a r s   T o  L i s t e n

B u t   W h y   O n l y   O n e  H e a r t ?

B e c a u s e   T h e   O t h e r   O n e  

W a s  G i v e n   T o  S o m e o n e  F o r   U s   T o   F i n d

Laughter

 Can

 Mend

 A

Broken

 Heart

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How to piss off your date

1. Guard your plate with forks and knifes and act like you'll stab anyone who reaches for it, including the waiter.

2. Collect salt shakers from all the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower formation on your table.

3. Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.

4. Make faces at other patrons, and then sneer at their reactions.

5. Repeat every third word you say say.

6. Read a newspaper during the meal, ignoring your date.

7. Stare at your date's neck, and grind your teeth. Ask if he's a slayer.

8.Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what he's talking about.

9. Every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched while making airplane sounds.

10. Ask for crayons to color the place mat. This is especially fun in fancy places with linen tablecloths.

11.When ordering, inquire if the restaurant has any live food.

12. Without asking, eat off your date's plate. Eat more of his than your own.

13.Talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs.

14. Scarf down everything on your plate in 30 seconds.

15. Ask the people at the next table if you can taste their food.

16. Beg your date to tattoo your name on his bicep.

17. Order something nasty for your date. Act offended if he refuses to eat it.

18. Ask for a seat away from the windows where you have a good view of all exits and can keep your back to the wall. Act nervous.

19. Order a baked potato as a side dish. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes and ask the waiter for the potato you never got. When the waiter returns, have the first one back up on the plate. Repeat later in the meal.

20. Throughout the meal, speak in pig latin.

21. Take a bathroom break. When you return to the table, throw a spare pair of underwear on one of the chairs. Say they need airing out.

22. Bring 20 or so candles with you. During the meal, arrange them in a circle around the table. Chant.

23. Insist the waiter cuts your food into tiny pieces.

24. Feed imaginary friends or dolls you brought with you.

25. Shoot hoops with shrimp into his water glass.

26. Every time your date opens his mouth, interrupt and start a new conversation.

WANTEDWANTEDWANTEDWANTEDWANTEDWANTEDWANTED

•FITTEST LAD•

Any girls who have a picture of a fit lad or even a fit celebrity send me it VIA email and leave a comment here or if you DONT have a picture leave a message with who you think is the fittest lad and why OR leave me a comment with a link to a picture or if your space has a picture make your space public (if not already) and give me a link!

•DO NOT COMMENT IF IT IS NOT ABOUT WANTED COMMENT IN THE PREVIOUS BLOG FOR OTHER THINGS•

•Hall Of Fame for all the Pictures and there will be a poll up once i get a few =)•

•GET POSTING AND EMAILING•

•rlcottrell@hotmail.com• 

WANTEDWANTEDWANTEDWANTEDWANTEDWANTEDWANTED

  I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.(corny >.<)
If I followed you home, would you keep me?(that dawg>:()
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
You must be a hell of a thief 'cause you stole my heart from across the room.
Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy. (lol nice )
If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.

Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you? (-looks at the person in disgust)
I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?  (whats with the father jokes? o.O must be a guy thing)
Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
 Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.

You're ugly but you intrigue me. (lol that helps self esteem no?)
Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me. (darling?! lmao)
If you have a chance to become anything on earth what would you want to become?" [the answer] you: " well to me, I want to be your tear drop: I was born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.(aww :)
Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz you are special.(another dad joke i hope the girls fathers take revenge lol)
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.( metro? hmm o.O)
You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
 
(Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Person: What are you doing?!?!? You: Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. Person: WHAT?!?!? You: Well it has to be illegal to look that good! ( Can you say pepperspay o.O)
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see! (lmao again no coment)
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear. (lol too much info.)
If you were a booger I'd pick you first. (eww how is that flattering?)
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
Be unique and different, say yes. (lol loser >.<)

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Does your boyfriend know where you are? ( cant you just ask instead of inferring? o.O)
You know, if we cut your arms off, you'd look just like Venus de Milo.
If I pet you, would you follow me home? (touch me and youll be at the hospital -blinks- thought so )

Things You Learn From Movies

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.

2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

11. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

12. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

13. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.

14. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.

16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

17. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

18. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

19. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

20. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

21. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

23. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

24. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

25. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

26. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

♥ Its that time of the month again.

♥ I have to brush my dogs teeth.

♥ I have to stay at home and give my goldfish a bath.

♥ You are extremely unattractive. Sorry, someone had to tell you.

♥ I have to read the lables on all my food.

♥ I tripped over an ant and broke my leg.

♥ I promised my mum I'd bathe the hamster.

♥ I'm too busy watching the paint dry.

♥ I would go out with you but my waiting list is full.

♥ I have to teach my pig to sing.

♥ I never said I'd go out with you, that was my evil twin.

♥ My pet snake is constipated again.

♥ I would, but it would be a complete waste of make-up.

♥ I have to take down the Christmas lights.

♥ My grandma is on fire.

♥ I'm shaving my dog.

♥ My dad said I cant date till I am married.

♥ I dont date outside my species.

♥ My gerbil is getting married.

♥ I caught a rare deadly African disease that's highly contagious.

♥ I have to hide the bodies.

♥ I have to clean my toilet.

♥ I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.

♥ I never go out on days that end in "Y".

♥ I changed the lock on my door and now I cant get out.

♥ I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.

♥ The man on television told me to stay tuned.

♥ I have to floss my cat.

♥ You're ugly, I'm busy, have a nice day.

♥ I must go in search of my charms which were stolen by an angry leprechaun.

♥ My hamster is having a heart transplant and I need to stay for moral support.

• My hello Kitty Star Sign! WhooOoo! •

Well today been dancing long time no see to my beloved friends.......ha lol .
I had to put my jumper on in singing.......how mean!?! It is absolutely roasting! Oh well.
In drama we did arguing....lol James likes Pink!! *A*h*e*m* lol.
Heather is here with me sat next to me on a green office swivel chair reading a true story article out of a magazine....very detailed i know....

Also i think i have got chloe obsessed with Nathan..............i will say no more.....it might ruin my reputation.....not

Tomorrow we are off to Harewood house cos its gonna be warm...it has a big playground park thing! yey! Swings...lets see who can swing all the way round first the loser has to buy the drinks....well water anyway! hehe! (cues for heather chuckling away and silent laughing unable to breath)

We have just updates Heathers space and my keyboard has taken an unliking to her! Muahahaha! Poor heather looks like its not your day for the computer! hehe!

Right.....HOW MEAN IS THIS? SHOUTING OUT IN A CLASS WEN A PERSON IS THERE AND ONE ISNT THAT ONE PERSON FANCIES SOMEONE WHEN THEY DONT!? THEN DENYING IT WAS YOU AFTER IT?
Rant over!
On a scale from 1-10 cora gave ross....wait....9.8 *Shock*Horror*

Today was fun! Got to miss a few lessons cos i had my flute exam! whooo! I think i did well ! =) Grade 3! Also we went to MaccyDs on the way back cos Ashleigh wanted to have a McFlurry lol! I decided to get some chips! For once! The 3 of us had a nice long discussion about lads lolling! Very interesting i know!
Thats all that happened but the conversations were good! lol i know im weird but hey i cant help it! Argh! I am trying to sign into msn now but its been signing in for about 5 mins! Its not gonna work =( i cant sign in.....i will make sure it event...oh its on! hehe!

Well today has been total yawnosity !! Noughts happened at all omg!
Plus hardly anyone has been at school this week cos everyone has been ill !!
And Cora doesnt fancy the boy she did fancy anymore....wonder who the other boy is ??
And Sharon and Heather went to Miss Easterbrook to go and report this lass for making racist comments towards Cora !!
Mr Cave has a boyfriend.....ha....finishing that story there !!
Saw my 3 fave lads today aswell yey !! lol !! Turns out Sharon already knew 2 of them but she wouldnt introduce me !! How mean !!??
And Sophie you are now pronounced S-I-N-G-L-E and you are gonna be loving it.. trust me its the best !! You can flirt with any fit (please notice the exaggeration on the word fit !!) lad you see !! How great !!

Someone will always be prettier.

         They will always be smarter.

         Their house will be bigger.

         They will drive a better car.

         Their children will do better in school.

         And their husband will fix more things around the house.

         So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.

         Think about it.

         The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.

         And the most highly favoured Woman on your job may be unable to have children.

         And the richest woman you know,

         she's got the car, the house, the clothes....might be lonely.

         And the word says if "I have not Love, I am nothing."

         So, again, love you.

         Love who you are.

         Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say

         "I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!"

         "Winners make things happen.

        Losers let things happen."

         Be Blessed ladies 

         "To the world you might be one person,

         but to one person you just might be the world".

Ooo! I havent done a normal (if thats what you want to call it) blog for absolutely ages!
Well today *ahemahem*

Assembly: There are gonna be changes (oooo)
1. Signs are gonna be put up
2. Benches
3. Music on at lunchtime in the halls
4. Woodkirk radio (according to Taylor!)
5. School Uniform will eventually change over a period of time! I want a blazer!

Maths: We are off to the white rose soon! yey! lol! Plus we can buy stuff if its absolutely necessary! (ill buy stuff anyway!) and i am with Cat n Moustasche! Whoo! Also we are in set 1 and guess what sets we are going with? 5 & 7.....oho!

Art: Nought much happened just nought really lol!

P.e: Didnt do it.....All the lads dived over into the seating area (where i was SAT) when they changed over and i got squashed....how mean?!? Also Adam started calling me Linda....grRrrRr!

Science: Ross was feeling Chris up...that is all im gonna say....Chris was like "How can you fancy a gay boy?" me: "he might be Bi!" lol....also Ross pushed a stool into Chris and he decked it up and the chair moved with him and Ross said it was Chris...."no mate it was you" lol i think he was a bit surprised when i stuck up for Chris seeing as im Ross' biggest fan.....lolling!

English: We got to draw! WhhhoOooo! Except it was from a description in a book we are reading i had Reverand Elias Cornwell and it described him as Tall and Thin...i think i exagerrated a bit on the drawing lol!